It's how you listen to it, too

I was once warned about a "belligerent" colleague (Colleague B) right at the beginning of starting a job. That warning, in my opinion, turned out to be pretty ungrounded after working with Colleague B for a few years.

The colleague who warned me about Colleague B was actually not alone in having that sentiment. I did talk to some of them out of disagreement; as far as I could tell, most of them didn't dislike Colleague B or disagree with what she had to say, they just didn't like how she says it.

Some of us got along very well with Colleague B because she is consistent, empathetic, intelligent, kind, pragmatic... and the list goes on. The best thing about working with Colleague B is that I never had to guess what's on her mind: her opinions are almost always relevant, without pointless embellishments, and stand the test of time.

Perhaps those who would regard Colleague B as belligerent often felt criticised and challenged, so much so that they would instinctively choose rejection out of fear.

We often have expectations for others when it comes to how you say it; perhaps we ought to remember to reciprocate by asking ourselves how am I listening to it, too.